My bag was packed. I kept opening it and checking everything again. Clothes? Yes. Phone charger? Yes.. Tickets? Checked least five times. Money? Yes. Then came the questions.
What if I miss my train? What if I get lost? What if something goes wrong. There’s nobody with me? What if I feel lonely?
Whenever I saw pictures of people sitting by a mountain walking through streets or drinking coffee alone in some beautiful little café it looked incredibly peaceful.
The reality was different.
There is a difference between thinking about travelling alone and actually standing at your front door with a backpack knowing that every decision from that moment onwards is yours.
Still I went.
Part of me was excited. I had waited for this trip for weeks. Suddenly it was happening.
The other part of me wanted to turn and go home.
I had myself.
For the few minutes that felt strange.
Then my journey began.
As the train moved away from my city I looked out of the window.
For once there was no need to compromise.
Getting Lost Was Part of the Adventure
My first real challenge came when I reached my destination.
I had checked the directions before leaving. I was convinced I knew exactly where I was going.
I didn’t.
After taking one turn I took another. Then somehow I ended up on a street that looked completely unfamiliar.
For a moment panic returned.i trurned over there to enjoy and see beautiful views and i enjoyed a lot.
I stood there with my phone in my hand looking at the map and pretending I knew what I was doing.
Eventually I asked a shopkeeper for directions.
He pointed me down another road. Explained the route in a mixture of English and the local language. I understood half of what he said but I smiled, thanked him and started walking.
A minutes later I found my way.
It sounds like a small thing but I felt strangely proud.
I had been lost.
I had figured it out.
Nobody had rescued me.
I was okay.
That was probably one of the lessons my solo trip taught me: not every problem needs to be avoided. Sometimes you just need to trust yourself to deal with it when it happens.
Eating Alone Felt Weird
I thought I would enjoy eating
I was wrong.
My first lunch was probably the awkward meal I’ve ever had.
I walked into a restaurant chose a table for one and immediately became aware of how alone I looked.
There were families talking around me. Friends were laughing at another table. A couple was sharing a dessert.
There I was, sitting quietly with my phone.
For the few minutes I pretended to be busy scrolling.
Then I put the phone away.
I looked around.
The food. I started eating slowly.
Nothing terrible happened.
Nobody was staring at me.
Nobody cared that I was eating alone.
In fact I eventually started enjoying it.
I could eat at my pace. I could notice the flavours. I didn’t have to make conversation when I wasn’t in the mood.
By the end of the meal eating alone didn’t feel lonely anymore.
It simply felt normal.
The Freedom Was the Best Part
One of the things I loved most about travelling was the freedom.
When you travel with people even people you love there are always decisions to make together.
Where should we go?
What time should we leave?
Where should we eat?
Should we stay longer?
When you’re alone the answer is simple.
You decide.
One afternoon I had planned to visit a tourist attraction.. When the time came I didn’t feel like going.
Instead I found a quiet café ordered something to drink and sat near the window.
I watched people walking past.
A man was rushing to work. A child was holding his mothers hand. Two friends were laughing loudly on the street. A dog was sleeping under a parked scooter.
Nothing extraordinary was happening.
Yet it became one of my favourite memories from the entire trip.
It reminded me that travelling isn’t always about seeing places.
Sometimes it’s about being somewhere different and simply paying attention.
Then Came the Loneliness
course solo travel wasn’t perfect.